Dude, What Is a Land Pirate? Lyrics

Well sweetheart, you don't understand
Pirates weren't made to dance
We just weren't made for it

We slit throats, we don't cut rugs
But if it means that much
I guess that I could take a chance
We'll both go, we'll both go
I won't ruin your night
You know how I get into knife-fights
(What if my leg breaks while we dance?)
Then, we'll both go down

We just weren't made for this
We just weren't made for this

So I paint my peg leg for the prom
I've been practicing my dance moves all year long
So you'd better keep a look out
In case I go for second base with my hook out

I went out and got a tux
And a limo for the both of us
I pulled up trying to impress
(We'll both go, we'll both go)
Despite how hard I tried
You cried and ruined our night
Just cause my bird shit on your dress
We won't fucking go down

(We spike punch with barrels of rum
We loot and steal to seal the deal.)
Say what you will about me and how I do things
But don't you open your mouth about Polly
I guess we made a scene cause in come the police
Waving guns and asking me to leave
We won't even try to say goodnight
Cause we know that you won't apologize
We won't even try to say goodnight
Cause we know that you still think you're right
And we mean the things we say
We say just what we mean

So I paint my peg leg for the prom
I've been practicing my dance moves all year long
So you'd better keep a look out
In case I go for the third base with my hook out